When your mind is on overdrive, don’t let yourself crash.

Try not to hop on this when driving through life.

Having been laid up with a back injury for the past week, I’ve had more time than usual to stare up at the ceiling and think. Being able to sort through your thoughts is usually a good thing–unless you have a brain that works like mine. I tend to start off driving along Sanity Boulevard until I hit a speed bump (namely insecurity) which knocks me off course right onto Crazytown Lane.

Ever since starting this blog, I’ve been uber-sensitive about who’s reading and ‘liking’ what I have to say, who’s supporting me on my Facebook page, and how many Twitter followers I have. Putting yourself out there is difficult, but accepting that not everyone will have as much gusto for what you’re doing is a far more difficult pill for me to swallow. After all, I’m the girl who polled my 1st grade classmates about whether or not they liked me. When one boy jotted a check mark in the “No” column, it literally tore me to pieces. (He’s now a Facebook friend of mine, so HA!) This overwhelming need to be liked is still part of my core being, which is also evident in my previous post, and I just wish it would go away!  It would be so freeing to care less about how people view you, but that’s just not who I am.

So when I was stuck in bed, my mind started to wander to a less-happy place where I let my inner 6-year-old take over. While mulling over my career/blog aspirations, I started to obsess over the lack of support from certain individuals who I thought for sure would cheer me on. I started to get angry, and wonder why they didn’t give a rat’s tush. (I swear I’m not usually this self-absorbed. I’ll blame it on having too much time on my hands.) But before I could get too far on this negative little journey, I decided to change gears.

Instead of focusing on the people who would most likely fall into the “No” column on that questionnaire from over 30 years ago, I started to think about all of you who have rallied for me–and there are tons of you! When I altered my mindset, it was a huge crankiness crusher for me. I thought about the amazing shout-out that my friend and mentor Ellen Whitehurst announced on FB and Twitter, the “I Love This Blog” award that Melissa’s Meanderings gave me (please check them both out; it’ll be worth your while), and I allowed myself to eat up all of the positive feedback that I’ve received from those of you who have been kind enough to read this blog and share it with your friends. When I stopped being consumed by unhelpful thoughts, the dark clouds that I had created began to disappear. Little by little, as I thought of all of you, rays of sunlight danced through my crazy little mind.

From now on, I’m going to get that darn “Do you like me?” poll out of my head, and try to move forward with confidence, positivity, and gratitude for the support I have. As we drive along this transient and bumpy path called life, this type of attitude should be sitting in the passenger’s seat right next to us. With positivity as your driving companion, there will be fewer opportunities to get lost on WhinyandInsecure Avenue.

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