Try not to hop on this when driving through life.
Having been laid up with a back injury for the past week, I’ve had more time than usual to stare up at the ceiling and think. Being able to sort through your thoughts is usually a good thing–unless you have a brain that works like mine. I tend to start off driving along Sanity Boulevard until I hit a speed bump (namely insecurity) which knocks me off course right onto Crazytown Lane.
Ever since starting this blog, I’ve been uber-sensitive about who’s reading and ‘liking’ what I have to say, who’s supporting me on my Facebook page, and how many Twitter followers I have. Putting yourself out there is difficult, but accepting that not everyone will have as much gusto for what you’re doing is a far more difficult pill for me to swallow. After all, I’m the girl who polled my 1st grade classmates about whether or not they liked me. When one boy jotted a check mark in the “No” column, it literally tore me to pieces. (He’s now a Facebook friend of mine, so HA!) This overwhelming need to be liked is still part of my core being, which is also evident in my previous post, and I just wish it would go away! It would be so freeing to care less about how people view you, but that’s just not who I am.
So when I was stuck in bed, my mind started to wander to a less-happy place where I let my inner 6-year-old take over. While mulling over my career/blog aspirations, I started to obsess over the lack of support from certain individuals who I thought for sure would cheer me on. I started to get angry, and wonder why they didn’t give a rat’s tush. (I swear I’m not usually this self-absorbed. I’ll blame it on having too much time on my hands.) But before I could get too far on this negative little journey, I decided to change gears.
Instead of focusing on the people who would most likely fall into the “No” column on that questionnaire from over 30 years ago, I started to think about all of you who have rallied for me–and there are tons of you! When I altered my mindset, it was a huge crankiness crusher for me. I thought about the amazing shout-out that my friend and mentor Ellen Whitehurst announced on FB and Twitter, the “I Love This Blog” award that Melissa’s Meanderings gave me (please check them both out; it’ll be worth your while), and I allowed myself to eat up all of the positive feedback that I’ve received from those of you who have been kind enough to read this blog and share it with your friends. When I stopped being consumed by unhelpful thoughts, the dark clouds that I had created began to disappear. Little by little, as I thought of all of you, rays of sunlight danced through my crazy little mind.
From now on, I’m going to get that darn “Do you like me?” poll out of my head, and try to move forward with confidence, positivity, and gratitude for the support I have. As we drive along this transient and bumpy path called life, this type of attitude should be sitting in the passenger’s seat right next to us. With positivity as your driving companion, there will be fewer opportunities to get lost on WhinyandInsecure Avenue.
Tara Rummell Berson
The Crankiness Crusher™ 
Jun 14, 2011 @ 15:02:26
If it helps, I read EVERY day even though I’m a terrible commenter, and I love this blog! It’s a great reminder during a cranky day of what’s really important. (And it captures YOU so well!)
Jun 14, 2011 @ 15:11:48
You’re awesome!
Jun 14, 2011 @ 15:26:56
So are you, Gigi! This blog can be a place where we always remind each other of that! xo
Jun 14, 2011 @ 15:22:25
Coming from you, JK, that means a HELLUVA LOT! xoxo
Jun 14, 2011 @ 20:18:28
Hey T,
I find alot of myself in your post. I should say alot of my OLD self in your post. I think its in our genes. Worrying about who likes you and who doesn’t and why can become all-consuming. You’re so busy trying to be everything to everyone and then you forget who you are and that YOU matter – until you hit your 40s! And life is good. REALLY! Somewhere, somehow, like magic you muster up the courage to just be yourself and not give a “rat’s tush” about everyone else’s opinion. What authority declared their opinion to be right anyway? You know I wouldn’t lead you astray. Love you.
S.
Jun 14, 2011 @ 23:17:08
in bed laid up back injury not fun! I think your blog is great I don’t tweet and i’m not on face book I just have my little ole blog which I barely know how to maneuver! But I blog for fun and I like to show peeks of my jewelry creations…share food thoughts and everyday life. Hope you are up and around soon and girl you need your cranKiness crusher…I recommend 1 cement shake with giant chocolate chunks it won’t cure your back pain but it will make you smile!
Jun 15, 2011 @ 15:17:39
We all have that six year old, or 13 year old or too fat or too quiet or too whatever girl in us who doesn’t realize that she has grown up into a beautiful and accomplished woman. Remember CA evaluations? In grad school I supervised a CA who was great. When she got her evaluations back she had 51 glowing responses and one woman who said “She has a big mouth – she is too loud.” She freaked! I looked at her and said – “You do have a big mouth, we both know it, but so what.” Today she is a playwright and performer and uses that big mouth to teach about the deaf community that her parents live in. It is because you have insecurities that you are able to reach so many readers who can identify with the first grade poll and the CA evaluations and who lean on you to remind us that life is good – even flat on your back. I enjoy your blog every day.
Jun 15, 2011 @ 20:41:55
It is nice to see someone thinks likes me, thanks for great ideas on how to turn it around. PS: love your blogs.
Jun 15, 2011 @ 21:18:23
I love your blog and look forward to it everyday. It certainly crushes my crankiness, and reminds me of days when life was a little more carefree. Thanks for spreading a little joy each day!
Jun 15, 2011 @ 21:24:28
I’m subscribing! Wonderful!
Jun 16, 2011 @ 11:31:26
Love this blog…it’s a driving instruction through the bad days!
Jun 16, 2011 @ 18:33:35
This sounds so much like me as well. Glad I could have a small part in crushing the crankiness!